Jade Mountain

So utterly disappointed with our trip to Jade Mountain for lunch. First up we paid for a couple of sun beds on their sister beach where I was hoping to relax and enjoy a couple of cocktails before lunch. Do not order a cocktail - It is like drinking chemicals and you will have horrendous heartburn after!!!

We then went to have lunch at Jade Mountain. Glorious setting and view, the only positive which ironically the staff don’t have any control over! I ordered a cocktail which was significantly better than the synthetic rubbish I had tasted on the beach.

The wind at Jade Mountain was pretty full on, something I know no one can control. However when the wind blew my cocktail over, smashing the glass and covering me in both the cocktail and glass cutting my hand, a waiter appeared and swept it up - There was no apology. No offer to get another drink. I had to ask for it to be replaced! And guess what - They tried to charge me for that cocktail on the bill!!!

The waiters were too busy calling scantily clad ladies off a table to go behind the bar, for goodness knows what reason, rather than concentrating on the service they were meant to be giving.

The food - Nothing special. I’ve had better from a beach shack.

Do not waste your money, there are far better hotels to visit and stay at than here.

Extremely Disappointing Experience at Jade Mountain

Our experience at Jade Mountain was incredibly disappointing, with poor service, a lack of professionalism and a complete absence of basic customer care.

During our visit, a cocktail glass fell onto the table, spilling its contents all over my partner’s dress, which cost £2,000. She was left covered in drink and broken glass, yet not a single member of staff offered an apology. The lack of concern shown was disgraceful, particularly given the value of the dress and the distress and inconvenience caused.

To make matters worse, four waiters appeared more interested in talking to women in the bar than looking after their customers. Service was so poor that we were left having to pour our own drinks at the table.

The problems did not end there. I had specifically informed the staff that I have a mint allergy, yet mint was still served on my dessert. This was completely unacceptable. Allergies should be taken seriously, and informing a restaurant of an allergy should mean that appropriate care is taken to ensure food is served safely. This added another serious concern to an already appalling experience.

When we raised our concerns, the duty manager was rude rather than helpful or apologetic. At no point did we feel that our concerns were being taken seriously or that anyone genuinely cared about what had happened.

Although a bottle of champagne was eventually provided on the house, we were still expected to pay for our meal, cocktails and water. Given the circumstances, this gesture did little to make up for the experience. A complimentary bottle of champagne does not compensate for a £2,000 dress being covered in a drink and broken glass, nor does it address the failure to take an allergy seriously.

For a venue such as Jade Mountain, you would expect a high standard of service, professionalism and hospitality. Unfortunately, our experience fell well below even the most basic expectations.

Accidents can happen, but the way a business responds to them says everything. In our case, the lack of an apology, the poor service, the rude management and the failure to respect a declared food allergy made this visit particularly unacceptable.

Overall, a thoroughly disappointing experience. We expected far better and would struggle to recommend Jade Mountain based on the service, attitude and lack of care we received. Management should seriously review its staff training, customer service standards and procedures for handling food allergies.

Jade Mountain is built around the idea of eco-luxury and getting closer to nature. For some people this is the entire point. For this particular grumpy old man it turned out to mean that nature was now inside the room and had brought several friends.

All the roads on this beautiful island seem to go up and down the sides of hills and mountains, so don’t expect to get anywhere fast. The final stretch to the hotel is best described as a rumble strip that has ambitions of becoming a rollercoaster. By the time we arrived, both my wife and I felt mildly unwell, which is an interesting way to begin a luxury holiday. If you can afford it, a boat transfer is a far more civilised idea. There is no traditional reception; staff simply appear at your room for check-in and check-out. This is, one must admit, rather civilised.

We were on the ground floor. The rooms (known as sanctuaries) have no proper windows or fourth wall, so one is open to the elements. The mosquitoes located me within minutes of arrival, at which point I crawled under the mosquito net in the manner of a man who has just realised he may have made a slight error of judgement. The net performed admirably. The mosquitoes, to their credit, were also very good at their job. They found me in the shower and again at the toilet, which felt personal. Birds also paid regular visits. We ordered bananas with room service; they pecked through the cling film and left droppings on the plate. One quickly learns that ordering food is, in effect, an invitation.

There is no large shared swimming pool, only a decorative one in the restaurant. Our room had a bath rather than a private infinity pool. The ceiling fans do a heroic job and it is not too hot, but there is no air-conditioning. Sunrise occurs at about 6 a.m.; with no curtains this is not so much a suggestion as a firm instruction to wake up.

You need to be reasonably fit. There are 162 steps up to breakfast and no lifts. The rooms themselves are beautifully appointed, which is something.

Our butler, Davidson, was excellent. Anything requested was delivered promptly and without fuss — proper service. The food is genuinely very good. Breakfast was of a high standard and the staff were polite, though both mornings one or two items were forgotten even after reminders, and the courses tended to arrive all at once, which is an interesting approach.

At around £1,400 a night one does notice the practicalities: open rooms, no air-conditioning, no lifts, and an access road that appears to have been designed by someone with a sense of humour. The open-to-nature concept is clearly intentional. For the right guest it works rather well. For others it can feel like a very expensive, beautifully designed nature reserve that serves excellent food and requires you to climb Everest for the privilege.

Beautiful, certainly, especially the beach, Fully relaxing? That rather depends on one’s feelings about mosquitoes, early light and stairs.

Overall I would give it 4/5. Davidson was outstanding, the food was of a high standard, and the setting is striking. If you are content with the open-air arrangement and the modest amount of mountaineering required, it can still be a memorable stay.